Panties in a Wad

cracked   My iPad screen crackedcutie pies blue and pink.   Ugh.  There was a sneaking suspicion that the Cutie Pies had something to do with it.     Mother of Cutie Pies offered to buy me a new one.  At first I said noooo….noooo….no.     For crying out loud!  What kind of mother am I!  Then my iPad started to act strange and the crack in the glass seemed to be growing.  I changed my tune and said YES!  Thank you!  Now I can’t get it soon enough!

Off to the store!applestores

Talking with the prepubescent-looking  sales person it all seemed easy enough. I jotted down some notes.   Clear enough.  Until I got home and tried to do it.  I looked at my notes that mysteriously changed into unreadable chicken scratch.  What?  First connect old iPad to computer.  Done.  Then find iTunes.  Cannot find iTunes.  Load iTunes onto computer.  No one mentioned this part.  Select MY iPad from the little icon.  What icon?  No icon here!  After a few minutes I gave up on finding that icon and just started to press buttons.  Thinking to myself….piece of cake.  I don’t need no stinking notes or icons! After a few hours I decided I was in need of help.


I called Tim-the-too-young-to-be-working-youngster from the store, “hello Tim it’s me!  I just bought an iPad from you!”  Silence.   “Remember me?”  Silence.  “I’m having a little trouble getting the new iPad running,”  I say in a pleading REMEMBER ME voice.

“Oh yeah.  How  ya doing?”  he says.

“I need some help.  YOU told me I could call you for help.”  I remind him.  I added that I tried such and such and this and that to no avail.

“No problem.  Did you connect old iPad to PC and then press blah blah blah….?”  he asked.

I answered, “yes.”

He continued,  “Ok.  Turn the computer off and wait 30 seconds and do it all again.”

You get the picture…..right?  A technical nightmare unfolding.

After several hours and additional assistance it appeared to be up and running. Information from old iPad was on the new iPad!  Yippeee!  There was a slight glitch though.   All contact information from our PC had disappeared.  There was some kind of CLOUD message popping up all over the place.  The CLOUD was demanding a password and threatening to ERASE everything on the PC if I deleted IT!  What the hey is the CLOUD??  Things were transferred alright!  Into oblivion!  On some Cloud up there somewhere.

heavenly clouds

I will not get my panties in a wad over over this.  I decided to ignore the CLOUD issue.  My plan was to watch the movie that I accidentally (another story) bought  and downloaded onto my old iPad which was now transferred to my new iPad.  Pulling the TV out a little to connect a cord which Tim told me I would need to watch stuff off the iPad.  Thanks Tim. Another cord popped off the circuit board on the back of the TV.  uh oh.  Now to watch my movie from the iPad on the TV was costing me a zillion dollars!

Purchasing a new iPad is easy- peasy.    NOT!!

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What Did I Learn This Past Two Weeks?


What did I learn this past two weeks?


  • Two and half years old’s are not truly potty trained even though they wear undies and have been declared trained.
  • If there happens to be “an accident”, involving poop, extreme measures may need to happen.  Like never going back to the scene of the crime for a long-long time.
  • It’s never a good idea to “bump” another car (otherwise known as HIT and RUN) even if you are sure that there was no damage, no one watching, and a deadline to pick up another child.   Just saying.
  • It is legal to buy and smoke pot in the state of Washington.  It is not legal to take it out of state.  Just saying.
  • maryjane
  • Snowing and blowing winds can be happening in one part of the country (NH) during Spring.  Green grass, flowers, cherry blossoms and sun shine can be happening in another (WA).  I prefer the latter.
  • Little kids rule the world.
  • When a 2  year old shares that they do not need a Kleenex kleenex ….that boogers are  “yummy”….it’s important to not laugh or puke.  When they tell you they like to save them on their bedroom walls….. take note.
  • Orange Juice and Vodka ……a wonderful combo for grown ups!
  • When tiny tots cannot walk another step a small candy heart has a humongous motivating factor
  • Looking into young clear blue eyes and watching them light up is amazing.
  • Telling little ones about their Mother when she was their age is captivating.  Remembering it is priceless.
  • I tend to forget any ISSUES that I had when I left home.  Surprise they are all still there!!!  Shocking.  However…….there’s no place like home…..
  • Going home… SWEET!
  • home-sweet-home-1-01
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Changing Hats

nurse hatI’m putting my nursing hat back in the closet for a couple of weeks.  Dusting off my au pair hat again.  Tomorrow at this time I’ll be having breakfast with the three little cutie pies and their parents!  I can hardly wait to see them again.  I have high hopes that we are going to have a great time!!!


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I Can See Clearly Now…part 2


wetnoodleThe pain is searing in my chest.  My heart to be exact.   Within one incident I gain bad and good insight about my job.  Immediately I want to beg forgiveness.  Beat myself with a wet noodle.  After a few hours my sadness turns to anger.

I will QUIT.   I’ll show her.  She’ll be sorry.  She will beg me to come back.  This part lasts longer than the sadness part.  I’m mad, but I don’t know what to do with the anger.

As the day goes on I do my job even though I feel like a truck ran over me.  I put all of my energy into taking care of my patients.  Although a nasty little paranoid thought enters my brain.  Perhaps this could be a plan to make me quit.  To get rid of me.   I tell myself to not get crazy.  I slap myself silly.slap

 No.  I’m a per diem RN.  Another per diem can be hired at any time.  The trick is to find someone that wants to be a per diem nurse and work without any promises, be skilled in all the same areas and be available at the drop of a hat. Nah….there has to be lots of us floating around.  NOT!  Don’t get me wrong I know I’m replaceable.  In fact I think everyone is replaceable in the job arena.  What really happened?

Maybe I did do something wrong?  Was it fair?  Life isn’t fair all the time.   It is not the first time someone has been mean to me nor will it be the last.  Lots of people act like they have “a hair across their ass”.     I don’t know.  I’m not a shrink.  All of this analytical poo makes me tired.  YAWN.   I’m bored to tears making excuses for people.  WHO CARES?

Enlightenment.  It takes longer to get to this point.  I’m doing the best I can.  I’m good at my job.    My empathy and care shows through in spite of my still puffy eyes.  Quitting probably isn’t the answer.  However it’s not out of the realm of possibilities.   After all who needs s**t like this?

ACCEPTANCE.  Life is short.  Precious.  I’m done with poopy doopy people.  Do I care if I get approval from someone that is not able to be pleased?  Or someone who does not remember the good ? NOT!!!!  I will hear them.  I will listen.  I’ll pick out what’s important and let the rest roll off my back.



“I Can See Clearly Now”

I can see clearly now the rain is gone.
I can see all obstacles in my way.
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind.
It’s gonna be a bright (bright)
bright (bright) sunshiny day.
It’s gonna be a bright (bright)
bright (bright) sunshiny day.
Oh, yes I can make it now the pain is gone.
All of the bad feelings have disappeared.
Here is that rainbow I’ve been praying for.
It’s gonna be a bright (bright)
bright (bright) sunshiny day.
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Can of Worms……part one


My first day back to work after being “gone” for about a month, due to a personal crisis, is not a happy occasion.  I’m soon to find out that MY absence caused extraordinary hardship.  I’m one person on a team of many.   I’m a per diem nurse.  However at this point it appears that I am so important and vital that my absence has opened a can of worms.

I arrive at work upbeat and happy to share fresh baked scones that I made for my co workers.  It was my way of saying that I missed them and that I was glad to see them again.  Everyone kind of looks at me oddly… they know something’s about to go down.  Boss shoots me an unsmiling look. They are not running around crazy busy so that’s not it.  I’m concerned that I’m late or I’ve shown up on the wrong day or….some other blunder.

She says for me to get my things organized and then we need to “talk.”   Something’s wrong.  What is this about?  Did I do something bad?  Did I hurt someone?  Did I kill someone?  This couldn’t possibly be about me being out for the past month….could it?

The “talking to” starts.   The beginning of “the talk” is vague. Unhappiness with me is clear.  Is the problem my absence from work or something else?

I’m blind sided with the fact that I’m on thin ice.  Termination is possible.  I had no idea.  No indication.  I made sure that I communicated my plans as soon as they became clear to me.  I was NEVER asked to seek coverage for the days I would miss.  Traveling across the country to alleviate the family crisis I felt SHOULD be my priority.  I was not asking for my job be there for me when I returned although I had no reason to believe that it wouldn’t be.  Other co workers had gone through personal crises and absences from work.  Part of the demand for my work as a per diem RN is so that I can fill in when that happens.  Believe me nurses are people with all kinds of personal crises.  I was told my crisis was not important enough.   What do you mean?   Since when does someone judge that?  Plus I’m confused why a lowly per diem nurse was suddenly so important?  Am I the GLUE that holds this department together?  NOT!

I apologized fervently.  I am so sorry to have caused such pain and suffering.  I’m truly sorry.  Though I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.  Tears sting my eyes when I’m told no one can trust me now.  If I hadn’t responded to the crisis I would have felt horrible. I had to make a decision.  In the whole scheme of life wasn’t it more important for me to respond to a family crisis than to a JOB?  When I’m 80 years old looking back on my life will I be glad that I helped during a crisis or would I have been happier to do my per diem, no benefit job?  There is no doubt in my mind that I did the right thing.

A slow burn is developing……. slowburn

part 2 to follow.

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Au Revoir Au Pair


I’m heading home tomorrow.  No mixed feelings about going home.  I’m going to throw that Au pair hat high in the air!  It’s past time for tranquility.

I wonder if I will be able to get my crown back on.  Have my co workers hidden my nurse hat from me?  Do I still have a job?  Am I going to have to bake myself back into their good graces?

So many stories to tell………….

TIDBIT     I got home last night.  I slept almost 12 hours.  It was -2 degrees this morning.  There is so much snow.  The ground here will not be seen for months!  Home sweet home!


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Smelling Like Roses ….. Not!



Two weeks done with my au pair career…..well it will be two weeks on Sunday at 11pm, but then who’s counting!  Two more weeks and then home for two weeks before I come back for the final 2 weeks.  The new au pair arrives March 20…..again, not that I’m counting.

Don’t get me wrong I love these three little people, but it is not easy stepping into this role.   One of the twins screams bloody murder when she sees me in the morning because she associates my presence with  mommy and daddy leaving.  That breaks my heart for many reasons.  Another issue is when mommy and daddy don’t get home from work until 10-12 hours after they exit in the morning.  They tell me this is unusual. I’ve had to set boundaries and that has been painful.  I’m not hired help.  I’m a Grandma that is here to help out in a difficult situation.  The parents said, “the kids don’t usually scream this much.” I reminded them that the girls have been screamers since they were born.

I had to jog their memory on how stressful it would be if I wasn’t here!  I will not take the fall for the cutie pies being screamers.  I will tidy the house up a bit, but I will not clean the housse. I’ve already cooked several meals, but I am not the cook.  Anyway you get the picture.

We’ll make this work because we have to.

I’ve seen the results of our discussion already.  We’ve had a pleasant and fun weekend.  The parents have been treating me like the Grandma I am!  I know this truly is stressful for all involved.  Another character building block in my life and theirs.  I know we will all come out of this better people and smelling like roses!   Well maybe NOT smelling like roses!

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